“My pikin go becom plezident of Ningeria. E go come be plezident of obodo’yibo!”
My mother would say proudly to her colleagues during those Ibo August meetings. The village was not exactly large but it was large enough for some women to be jealous and others to encourage me. My mother had been the only woman employed by a white man in our community. Maybe not the only woman but the only well paid woman. She had always been the breadwinner since papa passed away. What a tragic way to die… from tapping palm wine. He fell on his back and hit his head badly; there was no way he would have survived it. Mother wailed day and night that witches were after our family. I guess this was what gave birth to her unquenchable thirst for education. It wasn’t exactly because she wanted me to have it but more like a thing of vengeance.
Although somewhere in her train of thoughts she also believed education was the solution to the problems of our motherland and that I was the chosen one. The child who would liberate Nigeria from its hardship. The little yet-to-be Obama. Oh yes! The very Jesus that would save the world. Her imagination must have been so wide and wild. Didn’t she think all the hopes and aspirations she had back then were too much for just me? Sometimes I even imagined she watched superman in her dreams. At every point, she would remind me that I was in school only to become great and make her proud. Of course, I believed the “mission statement” for going to school back then but now, the very irony. I wish she knew. I wish she knew education rarely ever helped anyone start-up an empire. Rather it ties people to the very chains of unemployment and exploitation. Gives you the mindset to work for other people.
It’s been 27 years after university and I feel very hopeless – more like useless. I feel like I let my family, society and even the world at large, down. I should have told Mama I could not be the President of Nigeria without connection to the world outside our village. I should have explained to her that if she really wanted me to get so high politically, there was no point teaching me to read the Bible morning and night. If I had to be great by the standards of the world, I would have to snitch on people. Snitching seems less a sin but it sure comes with a full package. It involves stealing, cheating and lying. I still feel terrible for leading Mama on… that when I get into government, the world would be ours. She told everyone! The entire village was proud of me – Do you see why I feel so guilty?
I can barely feed my family. The market is expensive and the little living I make from this farming is nothing to write home about. The government has refused to invest in farmers and the “petroleum way of life” has made the standards of living even more demanding. Like I said, I can barely feed my family – A wife and five children. Don’t shoot me yet… At least since I’ve failed to exalt my mother, one of my children should bridge the gap for me. Maybe if I wasn’t the only child and Mama gave my Messiah duty to all of us, just maybe, I would not feel nearly as bad as I feel right now. We may have been able to “contribute” efforts. Why cry over spilled milk?
I gradually stood up, grabbed my tools and headed back to work. To save the world in the only way I could – and feed my family like every father should…
“Repent! The kingdom of Heaven is here!
Oh ye children of Sodom and Gomorrah!
Taking from the poor and needy!
Repent!”
My apologies. Today’s post was tactfully and carefully written by Femi (former @femismyth) emmmm…. I hope you’re ready for something punchy 
Enjoy!
